What’s More Important: Happiness or Success?
Transform Your Business, Elevate Your Life: Private Coaching for Ambitious Market Leaders
True Story: There was a time in my career—midway through a record-breaking year, plenty of six-figure commissions and the doors of Washington’s finest homes swinging open for my clients—when, late at night, I couldn’t shake the question: is all this so-called ‘success’ actually making me happy? Or is it something else I’m really chasing?
In luxury real estate, we’re taught early to measure life by the numbers. Listings, volume, GCI. The chase to be number one. Yet as the contracts piled up, so did the pressure, and with each new closing I found that happiness—whatever that was supposed to mean—didn’t increase in equal measure with my production.
What Jim Murphy calls “having it backwards” is a trap almost every ambitious broker faces. We strive for success first, believing happiness will follow. But as I learned from tough seasons and from quiet moments reflecting on my own life (and that of my highest-performing clients), the equation is actually reversed. Murphy writes: “If we focus on improving our inner world... we can have joy and peace, purpose and power—which will maximize our performance as well. Heart first, performance second. Inner world first, outer world follows. Besides, an extraordinary outer world is worthless without a meaningful inner one, is it not?”goodreads
This notion isn’t reserved for spiritual seekers or self-help gurus. Harvard Business School publishes research that says happiness isn’t the byproduct of achievement—it’s the engine. Top minds in positive psychology, like Shawn Achor, show that when agents lead from a place of joy, optimism, and gratitude, their resilience skyrockets. They sell more because they show up with energy and authentic presence, not because they grind themselves to burnout in service of ever-higher numbers. forbes
Real estate, for all its external rewards, is an inside game. The mark of a “billion dollar broker” is not just the ability to win listings—it’s the inner discipline to let go of the ego’s neediness and the market’s relentless pace. Murphy’s “heart of a warrior” is about removing what isn’t you; it’s like Michelangelo revealing David from the stone. Some days, that means working harder than ever. Other days, it means granting yourself permission to feel joy for no other reason than the morning sun hitting the Potomac through your window. eliteagent+1
Clients sense the difference. The best ones don’t hire us for our volume—they hire us for the calm and focus we bring to their moments of maximum stress. They trust us because we aren’t chasing their business to validate our worth. We show up strong and unhurried, because we know a meaningful life is “the journey itself.” Success becomes something deeper: a byproduct of living with purpose, stretching for excellence, and, yes, allowing happiness to be the foundation—not the reward. positivepsychology
What’s more important? Maybe it’s not a question at all. Success without happiness is a hollow victory, quickly replaced by another goal. Happiness, when cultivated from the inside out, becomes a way of being—one that reliably powers the next big win, one that turns the work into a legacy, and one that leaves unshakable fulfillment behind every closed transaction.
When you commit to happiness—the meaningful kind, where challenge meets purpose—you’ll find the greatest success follows, not the other way around.
Curious what real, lasting change looks like at the highest level? If you’re ready to have an honest conversation—agent to agent, leader to leader—reach out for a confidential chat with me. No sales pitch, no pressure. If we connect, we’ll uncover what’s possible together. Trust, mutual respect, and openness are the foundation—let’s see if this is your moment to raise the bar.